I read a post the other day that said "Healing also means taking responsibility for the role you play in your own suffering." It took a moment for me to see both sides. I've been saying that for years, that people have to take responsibility for their own health, but their own suffering?
The other day I was talking with someone about some challenges I was experiencing, same challenges that I have faced for years now. It baffles my mind that these are still challenges for me. 40 years and I haven't figured out how to deal with these insecurities? How is that possible? I have to take responsibility for my own suffering? How exactly? By controlling the narrative I've been repeating in my head for the last 40 years! Or, as my friend said today, getting rid of the very thing that is causing the discomfort.
Maybe the alcohol is causing the bloating. Maybe the beer aggravates the colitis. Maybe the chips are getting stuck on my ass! Maybe my thought process is stealing my joy and creating an inner turmoil of anxiety. My Mom will say, "Life is what you make it, always was, always will be." We aren't going to be better off making excuses as to why we can't start a part-time gig, or why we don't have time to exercise or eat healthy. We have to take responsibility for our choices and realize pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. Nothing is easy, growth can be painful, but if you don't take responsibility for your own healing or growth, you will suffer. Nobody is coming to save us. You have to stand tall, keep your chin high and work towards building the life you want.
Too many years have been wasted being insecure because my inner demons would tell me I'm not good enough. Well today, I'm taking those inner demons to the train station, and I never want to hear them again!
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